Laughter and fun can Save a Marriage

Can you actually remember the last time you actually had any fun together? Has your marriage just been one hard slog for a long time? When did you last go out, not just for dinner but to do something really enjoyable, something that makes you laugh? Marriage shouldn’t be just about work, chores and TV, marriage should be inspiring, challenging, exciting and above all fun.

OK so I accept that spare time is limited so use it wisely. Stop saying I just don’t have time to have fun in my marriage, marriage doesn’t generally take away your time life does. It’s easy to make excuse after excuse because you can’t be bothered.

So you don’t make an effort now, OK that could mean divorce. If you want to have a new relationship you’d have to make time for it so why not make time for your marriage?

OK you’ve grown apart, so what, you never knew each other before you first met and it was easy then. The likelihood is that you’ve grown apart because you haven’t made time for each other so what are you going to do about it? Are you going to save your marriage or not?

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What did you love to do when you went on a date? What really made you laugh and have fun together? How did you get to know each other before you were married and what made you become close?

The honest truth is if you don’t have fun then it’s very unlikely that you will be happy in your marriage. The same as you wouldn’t be friends with someone who’s company you didn’t enjoy. Distance and remoteness can tear a marriage apart. Is that really what you want? It is possible to save your marriage if you are prepared to work at it and it is possible to have a marriage that is even better than it was before. One of the best ways to help heal a relationship is to go out and have some real honest fun and learn to laugh again.

Laughter makes you feel good even when times are bad. It lifts your spirits and helps you see the positive side of almost any situation. Having fun with your spouse helps replace all those negative feelings with positive ones.

So the big question is what are you going to do? If you are really stuck try making a list. You can pool your ideas as you go or make two lists and go through them together once you have completed them:
• Think of all the things you used to enjoy together when you were dating.
• Try and avoid dinners as you have nothing to do but sit and talk, not necessarily much fun.
• Don’t choose things you know your spouse will hate it needs to be dates that you will both enjoy.
• Don’t be afraid to try something new, you might be pleasantly surprised.
• Don’t argue over date ideas, if your spouse doesn’t like an idea so what, you have a chance to reject some off their ideas as well.
• ‘Take off the blinkers’ open your eyes to new ideas.
• Avoid dates that mean one person is left hanging around feeling miserable such as shopping.
• So just to get you started with a few date ideas:
o The theatre or cinema
o Skating
o Bowling
o Go Karting
o A leisure or fun park
o Cycling
o Dancing / Dancing lessons
o A short weekend break
o A local tourist attraction that you’ve never got round to seeing
o A river cruise

You might hate them all so go out and make your own list of all those things you really like to do or have wanted to do but have never made time to do it. Marriage shouldn’t mean you can’t do them. Just one word of caution, you are trying to save your marriage so be considerate of each others likes and dislikes. The date is all about having fun and learning to laugh again so it has to be something you will both enjoy.

If you don’t enjoy the first date, try again, we all make mistakes and choosing the wrong date is one of them. Don’t throw your marriage away over one failed attempt.