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Marriage Problems and Long Term Illness


Over the years I have seen many marriage problems as a result of one partner having a terminal or long-term illness. The reasons for such marriage problems, and in some cases marriage break-ups, are varied but often as a result of pre-existing problems in a marriage that have remained unresolved.

Someone I knew a long time ago left her husband after he nursed her through breast cancer. When she was finally given the ‘all clear’ she just seemed to crave for a change. Marriage problems that her husband previously knew nothing about were thrown at him as the reason for leaving.

In some incidences marriage problems occur when the healthy partner is unwilling to restrict their lifestyle to adapt to the new health situation of their partner. What appeared to be a perfectly healthy marriage on the surface falls apart at the first sight of trouble.

Some terminally or chronically ill people just push their partners away not wanting then to be burdened with the illness that they themselves can do nothing about. They create marriage problems in a bid to release the person they love and are so embroiled in achieving their aim that they often fail to see the situation from their partner’s point of view.

Sudden illness and the ripping away of life as you know it does strange things to a marriage. Sometimes it is just something to test a relationship that was never meant to be but in other instances adapting to such a new and often restricted way of life, the constant highs and lows or just sitting and waiting is enough to strain the strongest marriage. Stress is one of the main catalysts for common marriage problems.

Critical illnesses often make people see life from a totally new perspective, making them want to dramatically change their lives. A previously rational person can do some strange things or just use the wake up call to eradicate everything they dislike from their lives. Married couple can experience irreversible marriage problems if both parties are unwilling to take into account each others point of view.

Chronically ill partners can say and do some awful things which are in the heat of the moment and not really based on any kind of rationale or belief. It can prove very hard on couples during the early stages of long-term illness and even harder as time goes by and any signs of optimism fall by the wayside.

If your marriage is suffering due to a terminal or long-term illness you need to remember that one of the main causes of marriage problems is failure to communicate. The art of communication as knowing when to talk and when to listen, when to instigate a discussion and when to keep quiet, knowing how to recover from a situation when your partner doesn’t appear to want to try and understanding the importance of body language.

Don’t let marriage problems destroy any precious minute of your marriage. Seek the advice you need to re-open those vitally important lines of communication.

Author: Terry Ross


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